"I just feel like if I didn't get away I'd bust."- George Bailey

        

         

    I think I wanted to start living on my own once I turned 12.  I remember many a time thinking to myself, or even yelling (which is way more likely) "I can't wait to live on my own!"  Life is tough sometimes for kids who don't realize just how good they have it...

    I was so excited once I hit Rexburg to go to school and Mom, Collette, and Laura all drove away- leaving me on my own.  I stayed up till 3 am every night that first semester! I bought poptarts, hot pockets, and a variety of other grocery items deemed too expensive or downright disgusting for our family. Nobody stole my makeup, underwear, or CD's, and  I even had my very own cell phone! I spent weekends dancing around various apartments wearing tie-dye T-shirts and being way too loud with my freshman friends.   Life was everything I had wanted it to be for so long, and most of the time I was happy it had all turned out to be a dream come true.  But I did miss a few things.

       I missed Mom yelling at me from the front door to "Choose the right, and be honest". I missed curling up in a ball and crying like a lunatic sometimes and still having the people I live with love me afterwards.  I missed the music in our home so much.  There is no one quite as excited about my new songs as Dad and Mom are. I missed our Cherry Park homeward and all the friends we made there. I missed being mistaken for Becky, Joey's sense of humor, and going on runs while getting my butt kicked by Adge. I especially missed my big sisters and their willingness to listen and give advice. I admit that for this first little while on my own, I was scared and homesick. It's not so bad now that I've been on my own for a while, but I never realized just how much I would miss home.
 

     Well, the reason I bring this up is I feel the same bittersweet feelings  now that we're so close to Christmas.    I've been flooded with all these memories lately of us sitting around our old living room with the fire on, passing around Mom's favorite- popcorn with m&ms. I always loved this time of year best and it wasn't because there were too many presents under the tree to count, but because being a member of the Peacock family meant excitement and friendship and lots of traditions to look forward to!  Peacock lane, caroling parties, "Secret Santa" escapades, and of course, sledding and cutting down the Christmas tree on Mt Hood were things we looked forward to all year long!  And I miss these memories and so much more.

     So I ask all of us to truly cherish wherever we are this year- and whoever we're with. One of my professors put it this way- "the grass is always greener on the side you water"!  I know I don't want to have that kind of "anywhere but here" attitude ever again. We're in the making of more and more priceless memories- who knows, maybe Mona will be the first star in a new generation of Peacock Nativity plays!  I know Scott and I are really going to try hard to make this season as memorable as possible, and start our very own Winkler Family traditions!   I've realized throughout all of these big changes in our family these last couple years, that what really makes you happy is who you're with not where you are.
   

      I called Mom today and she told me how sad it was that only her and Dad were there to pick out the Christmas tree this year. (Don't know where Adge was- ya slacker...)  I told her about some holiday traditions Scott and I wanted to start, and we talked for a little while about the Christmas season.  I've been thinking about our conversation ever since, and I guess I just wanted to reassure her that even though it can't always be the same, all of our past traditions and memories will be with me, and the rest of the family forever.  That's the point of all this "Christmas cheer" garbage.  Even if our traditions have to change a little, we'll remember them always and what the main point of it all was: family.

Love you all and can't wait to see the fam bam!- Your star (for real I was Mary like four times for the Nativity Plays) - Erica